That’s right — here in opposite world, you stalk a guru by not stalking them! Whee!

Okay, seriously. If you want to build a relationship, you don’t do it by being a creep. Don’t spend your two weeks vacation peeking through their windows and following 25 feet behind wherever they go. Don’t try to inject yourself in all their conversations just for the sake of getting in their face. Don’t flood them with inane email messages, or persist in asking for things that have been refused. And don’t get mad if they don’t respond personally when you try to contact them.

Would you want someone pestering you constantly? Neither do they. And guess what — they have a lot more people pestering them for attention than you do. They’ve got things to do and lives to live, so respect their time and privacy.

I’m not suggesting that you shouldn’t be persistent in your efforts to establish contacts — you should — but you need to channel your persistence in the right direction.

If you’re tempted to go overboard, remember that if you overdo it once, you may find yourself locked out of their lives for a long, long time (like maybe forever). Work your way in in a way that’s not going to get you blacklisted. I’ll suggest directions for your persistence in coming days.